Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
why is half of my head shaved?
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