Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
