i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize