Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
