Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
