I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
They are going to name an STD after you.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
