How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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