I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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