as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
