everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
