She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
