why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
