Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Randomize
