consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Randomize
