i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize