I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
