He is an equal opportunity slut.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize