Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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