then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
