Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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