Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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