He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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