a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
