Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
