I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Damn victory sex feels great
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
