sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I have already put on my inside pants.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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