So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize