Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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