used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
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what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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