everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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