Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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