im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
