so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
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We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
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After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
So much Jack, so little girl.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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