Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
i think i just lost a toe
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
