went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
