Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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