How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
