Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
