I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
