I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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