Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Dick very happy bro
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
