So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
