He kissed a someone with a penis
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just googled if crying burns calories
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
