It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
