You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
