last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I just want nice things and good sex
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
