why didn't you poke me back
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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