I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
