I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
