Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
