so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
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