I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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