Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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