i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
