he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
