wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
whose parrot is this?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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